Gone

Twenty years ago, Paul and I chose a brand new electric range in almond to join us in our first home.  Self-cleaning and beautiful!

We found early on that although beautiful (and self-cleaning), she was not perfect.  But then, what is?  Her timer didn't work right and her little preheat light didn't light.  But what's that among friends?  In her defense, she has made dozens and dozens...and dozens of cookies and brownies.  She has made casseroles for us, for church gatherings, and for new moms.  She has baked birthday cakes and many pounds of macaroni and cheese.  She has even crafted a bit in her day by baking homemade sun catchers and crayons.  She has been one of the central figures in our home.  Dare I say that she has made our house a home?  Too dramatic?  OK, but can I say first that she makes Monkey Bread and Banana Bread?  Now might you agree?

Last night was a sad night in our family.  Our almond electric range (shame on me for never giving her a name!) died.  And not just a silent, "I'm done" kind of death.  She went out with a bang.  Seriously.

I had just cleaned and coated two pans of chicken tenderloins and put them in the oven to bake.  I thought that I smelled something sort of burning, but decided that it must be an outside burn pile smoldering.  I sat down to start making my shopping list for this weekend's homeschool convention when suddenly, "BANG!  BANG!"  Smoke began pouring out of the back burner.  I yelled for help and then shut her down.  For the last time.  Then a horrible smell started filling the house...along with the smoke.  Paul and William came to check on her, but it was too late.  

Here's Paul feeling for a pulse.

Nothing.

And here's her final meal.

Funny that her final meal should be chicken.

It's our favorite.

(Paul tells me that purple writing means sarcasm.)

So, now we're making plans to give her a proper goodbye and then begin looking for her replacement.  It all seems so fast.  I told Paul that we didn't have to replace her.  Take-out is good.  And we could put a chair there instead of an electric range.  And then, if we're getting take-out, we could just use paper plates, and I wouldn't need the dishwasher.  I could replace it with a bookshelf.

I'm just kidding.
I would miss Saturday morning pancakes and Carrie's snickerdoodles.  Paul would miss his daily fried eggs.  The boys would miss their stove-top mac and cheese and Carrie her quinoa.  We would all miss the seasonal scents that drift from the kitchen.

And there would be no more of this...

I think we'll go shopping tonight.

GOD'S NOT DEAD

The kids and I met a couple of Carrie's friends at the movie theater yesterday afternoon and saw the movie "God's Not Dead.".  We really like the actor Shane Harper because of his role in Disney's "Good Luck Charlie," so we were super-excited to see him in a Christian film and hear his song, "Hold You Up" on our Christian radio station.  I love for my kids to see that there are young people out there being bold for Christ.  And that's it's not the easy road.  But it's the road that makes all the difference.  

   

Can I say, "WOW?!"

I know that I cannot say too much...except "WOW!"... because I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone, but I left that movie theater wanting to make a difference!  Wanting to shout the Name of JESUS!  Longing to be bold.  Longing to tell people the truth.   Longing to show them that there is a God who loves them so much!

One of the things that I keep thinking about this morning is how many Christians there are who do not know the power of God.  How many people do not know God.

I love what Romans 1:20 says... 

For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.

The Word says that we are without excuse.  That we know that there is a God.  That seems, for me, to make it easier to reach out to others with compassion.  There's no "proving" that I have to do.  I don't have to get upset or angry or defensive if someone starts asking questions or telling me that there is no God.  I get to love them.  I get to listen to them.  I can stay calm and try to understand their hurts and distrust.  I can tell them about my Best Friend and what He has done for me.  I can share hope.

Believe me, I am asking God to work all of this out in me.

I long to be loving and compassionate.  I long to see people as God sees them and to let God's love pour through me and into the lives of others.  It's tough.  My pride becomes a wall way too quickly and easily. 

But the longing...the desire is there.

My goal today is to listen.  

    To surrender myself completely to Him.

    I can do nothing without Him.  

    Nothing.

    But with Him?  

    All things!

Behind and Ahead

I'm not very good at figuring out my scanner.

I don't do it enough, so every time I scan a picture, I have to relearn how to do it.

These turned out very, very fuzzy.  But that's appropriate, because that's how my memory is.   I think that I've said it before, but these pictures remind me that I don't have one of those memories that's like a video camera.  You know, where all the memories come playing back like a movie.  I have a snapshot sort of memory.  I can remember certain events but usually with no sound and only one frame at a time.  Like a photograph.  And as I get older, my photographs get fuzzier.

This is a picture of my mom, Rob, and me in the center, my Aunt Shirley and her little boy, Neil on the left, and my Aunt Marlene and her little girl Stephanie on the right.  All of those little kids on laps are now in their forties.  Unbelievable.

When I was a kid, one of my favorite days of the year was the Fourth of July.  Those aunts and cousins in the picture above, and my uncles and cousins not yet pictured, and my Grandma Huff all came over to our house for a big pitch-in.  Sometimes Mom would put together a treasure hunt, but most of the time we just played and played.  My brother and my cousins were my best friends.  This is a picture of one of the many Fourths when we celebrated together.  A very young Uncle Roland in the center is helping his nieces and nephews light sparklers.  I'm in the front on the right and Rob is in the front on the left.

So I get just a little sappy when I look at this picture from last summer.  Our church's youth group took their annual summer camp trip smack dab in the middle of the week of July 4th.  

Carrie loves summer camp with her youth group as you can see in these pictures.

But I know that she missed being at home with us too.  And it's all good.  This momma has to learn that her babies are beginning to stretch their wings to fly.  Right. Out. Of. The. Nest.  And that's OK.  Really.  I get it.  Because believe it or not...fuzzy memories or not...I remember being 18.  And I remember having a mom that struggled with letting me stretch my wings.  I want for my kids to know that I am completely OK with this whole journey.  Up hills and down hills.

Meanwhile, the rest of us had a ball and enjoyed many Julyish things!  (Carrie, we did miss you a lot!)

Like John Young's sweet corn...

Take note of those amazing forest green dinner plates.  Those are the same summertime dinner plates that my mom used for sweet corn meals.  Rob found them in the closet while he and Brandy were cleaning out the house a few years ago.  When he offered them to me, I jumped on them!

Paul is buttering Matthew's corn with Mrs. Butter, a butterer that my friend, Susan, gave us.

And look what I finally broke down and bought...

Paul and I got one for our wedding 20 years before.  We used it on our first Fourth of July together as a married couple one week after our wedding.  We invited our family over to our new little apartment and served lunch, leftover wedding cake, and homemade ice cream, and we opened our wedding gifts.

(It reminded me of when I was a kid and we would go over to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  They would make the homemade ice cream and Mom would bring the Texas Sheet Cake.  Mmmmm...  So many of my memories are centered around food.  Really good food.)

The morning after Paul and I had our gift-opening party, I looked at all of the water sitting in the ice cream maker's canister.  I decided not to pour it down the sink.  Instead, I would water the plants out on the balcony.  I know, I know.  Now I know.  That is salt water in there.  My plants + salt water + afternoon sun = dead plants.

Fast-forward some ten years later, and Paul and I had invited some friends over for dessert.  I had told Cathy that I would make homemade ice cream, so she volunteered to make brownies to go with the ice cream.  It was that evening that I figured out that our ice cream maker no longer worked.  So we just ate Cathy's brownies.  Really good brownies.  No ice cream.  Crummy hostess.

And now, we have a new ice cream maker so that we can enjoy homemade ice cream.
But I'm keeping it far away from my plants.

Have I told you already how much I love the Fourth of July?  I think one of the biggest reasons is because I remember our old farmhouse getting cleaned top to bottom.  All the piles were put away and all of the dust was wiped away.  The windows were opened wide (in the days before central air), and there was a clean, sparkly feel to the home that I adored.

I think that our home is cleanest on the Fourth of July, because I remember that feeling as a little girl.

Puppy Chow...the Independence Day edition.
Puppy Chow is one of the true joys in life.

Our home is ready for guests!
Every time I look at this picture, especially after a really deep-freeze kind of winter, I wonder if the front of the house will ever look like this again.

The finches do not surprise me anymore.  Anytime that I hang a fern on the front porch, I am inviting the finches to build a nest, smack-dab in the middle of the fern.  The thing that I have learned to do is water the fern carefully.  And duck my head when I do it.

Here are some beautiful lilies that Gilda shared with me many years ago.  They multiply and crowd out the peach irises.  Then the irises have a good summer and crowd out the lilies.

William has his par-tay clothes on and is riding his party mobile!

Same for Matthew...

Same for Josh...

And Paul is chillin'.
Seriously, he is.  He's in charge of the ice cream.
And he is not at work.  Some serious chillin' going on.

The fireworking began early...

We also celebrate Uncle Brian's July 3rd birthday when we get together.  Aren't these pretty?

William is the official candle-ligther.

Happy Birthday Uncle Brian!

Coke and Mentos...

Josh enjoys the Fourth of July as much as I do...

And I think that I could say the same about Uncle Brian!

Grandma and GG watching all the antics...

What a beautiful Fourth of July sky!

As evening set in, I lit the candles and made our home all cozy.  I remember that from my childhood days too.  Our home always seemed so safe and warm as the cousins and I ran in and out, waiting for the fireworks to begin.

Now the Fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays.  We begin the day by watching the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, hiding clues for the annual (which we've missed for two years in a row now...which, I guess, makes it not so annual) Treasure Hunt, and getting food and snacks ready for the day.  As darkness sets in, the kids and grown-ups get the fireworks ready for shooting off in the yard. I don't especially enjoy watching the ones I love handling extremely hot explosives that can result in the loss of fingers.  Once again, I remember being a kid, running into the house for something, and hearing the scanner report some type of emergency at the Lake caused by fireworks.  Granted...it was usually a mixture of fireworks and alcohol that caused the injury...but setting them off ourselves still makes me nervous.

So, I'll stick with the glowy things that are not dangerous.  Like these glowing glasses that Aunt Brandy sent to the kids for the Fourth.  And I'll make my kids happy by peeking between my fingers at their antics.  And I'll make excuses for going into the house when I get a little too nervous.

I'm already looking forward to this Fourth of July because
     1.  it will be warm.
     2.  Carrie and William decided not to go to summer camp this year, so we will all be home.
     3.  (see above).

By looking forward to the Fourth, I am by no means wishing away the next three months with Matthew's birthday and baptism, senior piano recital, Carrie's graduation and open house, and our wedding anniversary...not to mention May the 4th Be With You Day and April Fool's Day!

It's all good!  Even the not-so-good times.  And isn't that what God wants for us?  To find the good in these days He has given us.  Each one truly is a gift!