Twenty-one years ago, Mom died.
Carrie asked me last night if twenty-one years seems like a long time or not a long time. I guess when I think of the number "21," it seems like a really long time. A lot has happened in 21 years. But in so many ways, it doesn't seem long at all. What's strange to me, and frustrating, is that I can remember my Grandma's mannerisms and can remember her voice and the way she laughed more than I can my Mom's. I wonder if it's because I try too hard to remember. I don't know. I do know, though, that I think of her every day...not always consciously and meaning to...but her memory is all around me in pictures and recipes and scents and flowers and in the eyes of my kids. And in myself as I grow older. Then suddenly, there she is.
I miss you today, Mom.
And always.
I always forget it was May 2. I remember so much about that time, however. I remember talking to her on the phone when she was in the hospital at Bremen just one of the weekdays before that Sunday. I remember sitting in her porch swing waiting for you to come home. I remember the sadness we all felt and finding it hard to believe. I remember wrapping my arms around you. We had enough arms on the porch to try to comfort everybody. So many feelings that are hard to express....sometimes it's just a hug that helps when words fail. I love you, Jodi.
ReplyDeleteI will never forget coming home that evening after coming home from telling Grandma and Grandpa. The lights in the kitchen were warm and welcoming. And there you were. That is one of my most precious memories. I love you.
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