Very Punny

A friend recently sent me this list via email.
It was just too funny not to pass along.

It got me to wondering if I, too, could be so on purpose punny.

Then I wondered if my kids could think of some good ones. That might be a good homeschool assignment.

Hmmm....
How about you?
Here are some to get you started...


Punster alert:

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

14. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

15. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

16. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.

17. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

18. A backward poet writes in-verse.

19. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.


Are you curious as to which one made me laugh the loudest? It had to be #12.

The one that took me the longest to understand? That was #9. I think it's pretty funny now that I get it.

The one that I identify with the most? Number 8. I talk like that quite a bit. You know..."key cars" instead of "car keys." Sounds familiar, huh Dad?

The one that I thought was least funny? Number 10.

And last but not least...the ickiest. Number 5! Ewwww!

Go ahead. Give it a try!
That's a challenge.
Can you be punny too?

Here's a good one. More Freudian Slip than Pun--but equally as funny.
Yesterday, Barack Obama was in Indianapolis.
He was praising Senator Evan Bayh.
Referring to Bayh's father, Senator Birch Bayh, Senator Obama said, "The ACORN doesn't fall far from the tree."

Ooops.

I saw it on The Bill O'Reilly show tonight, so I thought I would give it a shot and see if it was on youtube. You guessed it. It was.

Amazing.

Anyway, you can see it too if you look to the right at my sidebar.